"Oy Vey!" screamed Meshuggineh Johnson, realizing that he had been within the Flock camera's line of sight the entire time. It had caught him stealing the home of the Palestinian woman!

Without cameras, nobody would be able to know that this Zionist stole a woman's house, and when she begged him not to, he replied, "If I don't steal it, someone else will."

 

I trust the point is clear: as Zionists, we must prevent all forms of cameras that might potentially expose our actions to scrutiny. The cameras must be aimed only at law-abiding people, so that we war criminals and Zionists (but I repeat myself) can commit our foul deeds in peace.

 

Indeed, this is just one of thousands of ways in which Flock cameras threaten our liberty. As Zionists, we must have the ability to take what is ours--privately.

 

The Daily Bagel has reached out to Flock for comment. As of now, Flock has not responded, but this post will be updated with any comments they may provide.

 

(In case you couldn't tell, I am not actually a Zionist, and I oppose their genocidal behavior.)